"Come one, come all, to the event of the century! The battle of our times! That's right folks, it's Excel of ACROSS versus the World's Champion, Mr. Satan!"
          Conker glances at the stage and shakes his head slightly as a bald man with a goatee poses for a thousand cameras. Our furry protagonist turns and walks off as the narrator begins his rant again, attempting to draw a larger crowd to the "spectacle."
          "So, this is what the world's come to then, eh?" he states, sighing slightly. Conker continues down the pathway between the tents, wondering just why these Humans call a gathering of this kind fun. "Our State Fair is the best State Fair. Bloody wankers."
          After passing by a few hundred pretzel and corn dog stands he makes his way towards yet another small gathering.
          "Yes that's right! This is the one and only Super Kami Juice! It's guaranteed to fix all your problems! It will cure any disease! It'll ease all your pains! It'll even help you sleep! Just $29.99 a bottle!"
          "Bugger this," Conker flatly states. He turns away from this display of stupidity and heads for the exit. However, as he passes some sort of fun house, he notices what appears to be a stack of cash running into the building. With a loud "cha-ching" sound, Conker's eyes suddenly start spinning like slot machine wheels, stopping on dollar signs. With a huge grin, he runs after the cash, heading into the fun house.
          Naturally, once inside Conker has a tough time even locating the bundle of dough. When he thinks he's found it, it turns out to just be a reflection. After ramming his head into four or five mirrors, he's more than ready to give up on the idea. However, as he turns to leave, he's suddenly completely lost.
          After choosing the wrong path and cursing several times, Conker manages to find his way into a room with a large table parked in the center. Glancing around the room, he notices six other doors leading into this room. As he approaches the table, an overhead light suddenly clicks on, illuminating a chair directly in front of him.
          "Take a seat, Mr. Squirrel," a deep voice booms over hidden speakers. Conker shrugs slightly and takes a seat. "Welcome."
          "Uh, thanks. Who're you, anyway?"
          "That's not important, Mr. Squirrel."
          "Conker."
          "Huh?"
          "Name's Conker, not Mr. Squirrel."
          "Oh, sorry. Conker."
          "No problem."
          "Anyway. I'm sure you have questions."
          "Yeah, who're you?"
          "I already answered that."
          "No you didn't."
          "Yes I did. Who I am is not important."
          "Well, you want to answer my questions, right?"
          The voice sighs. "Conker. Shut up."
          "Well, that's not very nice."
          Another overhead light suddenly clicks on, interrupting the stupidity. "Ah, Mr. Stampede. Welcome."
          Conker turns in his chair and glances at the newcomer. "Oh hey, I remember you. You were there back in that cave."
          Vash walks over to the newly illuminated chair and places one hand on it. "Yeah, but I'm not sure where I've been since then. We all just popped out of there, then I ran around for a few weeks. I think I must have fallen asleep, cause I seem to remember dreaming that I was some sort of swordsman."
          "Hmm, you too? I dreamed about two hot human girls. I think they might have been lesbians."
          "Nicccce."
          "Yeah. Shame I woke up."
          "So, what's going on here?"
          "Ahem," the mysterious voice interrupts.
          "Who was that?" Vash asks.
          "Please take a seat, Mr. Stampede."
          "Vash."
          "Yeah yeah, just take a seat."
          The mediocrity continues until five others enter the room from similar fun houses. Don't ask why some of them were at the fair to begin with. It's just a stupid method to get them all here together. Seated around the round table are Conker, Vash, Gaara, Sol Badguy, Laharl, Sesshomaru, and Lupin. Of course, some of them recognize each other from a prior cave incident involving a giant animated monster. They all trade stories about their "dream lives" and begin to theorize that maybe it wasn't really a dream afterall.
          "Alrighty then. Now that we're all here..."
          "You're going to give us some stupid, pointless quest that means very little to the majority of us," Sesshomaru interrupts.
          "Well, yes, but please don't inter..."
          "Then just get this started. I don't have the time to..." Before he can finish a couple thousand volts of electricity pass through his chair, sending a nice jolt through the Lord. The other six react with shock and quickly clench their mouths shut.
          "Ahem. Are you done? Now, as I was saying, since we're together now, I'd like to introduce you to some people." Seven more colums of light suddenly click on symmetrically around the room. The floor directly below each pillar slides open and a platform rises with a person on each platform. As each person comes into view, one of the lights seems to suddenly burn out, casting the individual in it into darkness. The other six consist of five women and one man, all of which glance around the dark room with a what-the-fuck look on their faces.
          "Welcome," the voice begins. "I know you're all confused and probably a little scared, but be assured that you're perfectly safe."
          "Uh huh. That's reassuring," a beautiful, tallish white-haired woman states, pushing her hair over her ear.
          "Fujiko?!?" Lupin states, finally noticing her presence.
          "Lupin. What's going on here?"
          "Uh, how should I know?"
          "Well, if you'd all just shut up, maybe I'd be able to explain that," the voice states. Lupin sheepishly takes his seat. "Okay, I can see that some of you know each other. However, some of you are complete strangers, so some introductions are in order. First off, as Mr. Lupin has already named, is Fujiko Mine. To her left is Ms. I-No, which I believe Mr. Badguy is familiar with." The two glare at each other. "To her left is Mr. Kankuro, Gaara's brother." Gaara and Kankuro nod to each other. "To his left is the beautiful Urd. To her left is, well, a patch of darkness. I guess I need to get Quasimodo to fix that. Anyway, moving on."
          "Hey!" a sexually-ambiguous voice shouts from the darkness.
          "To the left of the patch of darkness is the Beauty Queen Etna, vassal of Prince Laharl."
          "Overlord!" Laharl shouts back, slamming his fists on the table.
          "Whatever. To her left is someone Gaara and Kankuro are both familiar with, Ms. Haruno." The voice then introduces the seated men to the standing individuals in much the same manner. "Okay, now that the introductions are done we can get on with business. You were all brought here because well, you happened to be walking through the fun house. To be honest, you were just in the right place at the right time. Anyway, I've brought you all here for a challenge. Those that pass it will receive a reward for your time."
          "What's the challenge?" Vash replies.
          "I was getting to that."
          "Good. This crap has gone on long enough, don't you think?" Lupin states.
          "Fine fine, you'll each team up with someone in this room to complete a task."
          "Which would be?" Conker asks.
          "Please oh please don't say...." Sesshomaru starts.
          "You will bring me a SHRUBBERY!"
          "God damn it!" Laharl shouts and jumps out of his chair. He yanks out his sword and leaps into the air, flying into the darkness overhead. Laharl goes to work; loud crashes and cutting sounds echo through the small room. The others all jump out of their chairs and take defensive stances as large chunks of crap begin to fall from the ceiling.
          While many of the individuals in the room can defend themselves quite readily, both Conker and Sakura find themselves in the path of danger. Sensing the small, cute, furry squirrel is in danger, Urd blasts a large chunk of concrete with a bolt of lightning, blasting it to bits. While less impressive, Sesshomaru takes out a similar boulder with a single sword slice, shocking the crap out of a terrified Sakura. Not entirely sure why he went out of his way to save the human, he sheathes his sword and makes his way to a nearby exit. The others take the cue and move towards the exits as well. Eventually, they all find themselves outside, yet somehow all at the same location. Seconds later the fun house collapses as Laharl blasts out of the top of the building, soaring to the ground near the group.
          "Way to go, Prince," Etna states.
          "Shut up. Let's get out of here."
          "Well, that was pointless, wasn't it?" Lupin asks.
          "Indeed," Sesshomaru replies, turning to leave. Gaara exits in an opposite direction, towed by his brother Kankuro. Laharl and Etna head off as well as Lupin and Fujiko. As Sol begins to leave he's confronted by I-No and after exchanging a few words they both head off together. By the time anyone even notices they're gone, Vash and the nameless, unknown person have already left.
          "So, uh, where're you heading off to?" Conker asks his savior.
          "Dunno. I don't even know how I got here."
          "Peachy. Don't suppose you'd like to hit the pub?"
          "Hmm, sounds good."
          As Urd and Conker head off, Sakura is left all alone. She watches the others all head off with a parner of some sort and can't help but reflect on the past. "Sasuke, where are you?" As she turns to leave she notices that the only other one that left alone, the Sesshomaru guy has paused to stare into the sky at some unknown object in the star-filled sky. Jogging over to him, she slowly comes to a halt about five feet away. "Uh, Mr. Sesshomaru?" She awaits silently for a reply that never comes. "I'm looking for a friend of mine. I don't suppose you know of a Sasuke Uchiha?"
          "I am unfamiliar with that name."
          "Oh," she replies, turning her attention to the ground, a look of sadness growing on her face. Showing little concern for her state of mind, Sesshomaru begins to walk off. "Uh, Sesshomaru-sama. Do you think, maybe, that I could, uh, travel with you until I find my friend?"
          "How you choose to live out your pointless life is of no concern to me," the daiyōkai replies, pausing for a moment.
          While slightly offended by the statement, Sakura nods. "Thanks. I promise I won't be a burden." And so, finding someone to tag along with, the two flee the shitty carnival.

Rewards:
Sesshomaru receives 1,144 Experience and a henchwoman (Sakura Haruno).
Conker receives 1,144 Experience and a henchwoman (Urd).
Vash receives 482 Experience and a henchperson (?).
Gaara receives 790 Experience and a henchman (Kankuro).
Sol receives 790 Experience and a henchwoman (I-No).
Laharl receives 1,968 Experience and a henchwoman (Etna).
Lupin receives 790 Experience and a henchwoman (Fujiko Mine).