A steady rain was falling out of the night sky over New York City. The streets below were soaked, but the downpour wasn't enough to wash them clean - it just got the grime wet. The soft ring from a bell echoes across the street as the door to a bar swings open. A moment later and short, humanoid squirrel stumbles out and loudly shuts the door behind him. Obviously drunk out of his gourd, Conker pauses at the curb and glaces down the street in both directions. He doesn't even acknowledge the rain.
          "Now which way was it?" he asks himself outloud, not entirely sure what his destination is to begin with. After a few seconds, he decides to go left and wobbles down the sidewalk.
          He continues on this path for a while, bouncing off other pedestrians and fire hydrants every few seconds, appologizing each time. Fast forwarding because this is getting boring, he finds himself in the middle of a gang war and ends up getting arrested. Let this be a lesson for you kids: getting drunk may get you in jail, even if you don't drive.
          The next morning Conker wakes up with quite a headache. He moans loudly and attempts to move, but finds himself chained to a wall. Glancing around, he finds he can't remember where he is or how he got there.
          "Where the heck am I?" he asks outloud.
          "Uh, jail," someone replies from his left. "One would think that's a bit obvious, given the dungeon-like atmosphere and all."
          "Oh, jail. Right. And how did I get here again?"
          "How should I know?"
          "Good point. And you are?"
          "A convenient unnamed supporting character."
          "Hmm, sounds a little fishy, but whatever. Any idea how I'm gonna get out of this one?"
          "Well, you might try pushing B."
          "Huh? What do you mean?"
          "There's a big B underneath you."
          "Oh. I guess there is. I wonder what that does." Conker proceeds to "press the B button" and an animated chimpanzee wearing a fez appears in the barred window above. It squeeks something and climbs down onto the bar holding Conker's arms up. After a few complaints and an odd feminine performance, it whips out a lockpick and frees Conker, then disappears in a puff of obsolescence. "Well, that was handy."
          "Indeed. Oh, and don't worry about freeing me, it seems that creepy, suspecious old guy in the corner wants to talk to you."
          "Right, uh, see ya?" Conker spins around to find the old dude still hovering in a dark corner of the room. "So, I hear you want something?"
          "Huh? What are you talking about? Oh! Did you find my marbles?"
          "Uh, huh?"
          "My marbles! Did you find them? I've been looking for them for months!"
          "Did you try asking the Hook?"
          "Who?"
          "Nevermind. Good luck with that."
          "Well, wait a second there son. Since you spent so much time searching for them, maybe I can help you find something you're looking for. So, what do you want?"
          "To be as far away from you as possible?"
          "Hmm, well, that can be arranged. But first, how about some Cash?"
          A loud cha-ching sound is heard as Conker's eyes suddenly begin spinning around like slot machine wheels. It seems money is one of the few weaknesses he has. "Sure, that sounds dandy."
          "Excellent. Follow me," the old man states with a wide grin. He staggers over to the wall and proceeds to push a portion of it back, revealing a hidden exit. Conker follows the geezer through the illuminated passage and out into a desert.
          "Wow. I guess we're not in New York anymore," Conker states.
          "Why would we be in New York?"
          "One would hazard a guess that since I was arrested in New York, that's where the jail would be."
          "That would make too much sense. You're somewhere in the Middle East."
          "Naturally. So where are you taking me."
          "Wait, I'm taking us somewhere? I thought you were leading us to where you hid my marbles! What's going on?!?"
          "Great. So you have no clue where we are?"
          "Now I didn't say that. Do you know how many children with ADHD it takes to change a light bulb?"
          "What the hell? Where did that come from?"
          "What, this?" the old hermit replies, holding a map out. Conker sighs loudly and shakes his head. "Aha! We're here!"
          "Huh? Where?"
          "At the meeting spot."
          "What meeting spot?"
          "That one," he replies, pointing to a McBlahs. They're everywhere these days.
          Thoroughly confused beyond hope, Conker just follows the crazy guy in. Unsurprisingly, the place is nearly empty, except one particular table which the old man has approached. Sitting at it are four other human-looking men, all of which don't look too happy to be in the crazy guy's presence. Conker walks over to them.
          "Alright gents, did anyone find my sprocket?"
          "I thought you lost your marbles?" Conker replies.
          "What? I lost my marbles?!?" he replies, frantically digging through his pockets. A few seconds later he pulls out a small felt bag. "Liar! I've got them right here!"
          Conker groans loudly, fighting back the urge to introduce the hermit to Gregg the Grim Reaper. "So why am I here and who are they?"
          "Patience, patience. They'll bring the bread and honey butter soon enough."
          Conker glances at the other four men at the table, noticing they all have the same zombie-eyed look on their faces. Apparently the old man has been driving them mad as well, placing them all in a coma-like state. "A few more minutes of this," Conker thinks to himself, "and I'll join them. Screw this guy." He begins to hop out of his chair when the hermit suddenly pops back to life.
          A sudden "OH!" from him snaps everyone out of their trance. "I remember! I told you guys I'd make you rich, didn't I? We should probably get going, huh?"
          "Unless you want me to staple you to the wall, yes," the red-eyed man states plainly.
          "You know, you should respect your elders. Even if they're a few gallons short of a full tank," the blonde-haired one replies.
          "Must. Kill," the green-haired man chants. The final member of the gathering just sits in silence, probably wondering why the hell he's even here.
          "Now now, if you kill me, then you'll never get those beautiful things I promised you. Let's go!"
          "Where?" Conker asks.
          "To the Cave!"
          "What cave?"
          "The Cave of Wond, er, wait, that was something else. The Dark and Dank and Sinister C, no that's not right either. The Noob, no. Uh, oh wait. It's not a cave at all."
          "Then where the hell are we going?"
          "I don't remember."
          "What do you mean you don't remember?"
          "Funny part is I knew exactly where it was an hour ago. Hmm, let me think a second. Anyone have any nails?"
          "No, no one has any nails."
          "Well, in that case, do you have any grapes?"
          The collected party begins to lean towards the old man, each with bloody murder in their eyes, when he Ohs again, startling them all. "I remember now! We're off to see the Wizard!"
          Okay. At this point I've lost track of where I was going with this storyline. So we'll just fast forward a tad and phase this crazy coot out... [Insert fast-forwarding noise from a VCR here]
          Relieved to finally be free from the hermit, the group continues down the dark tunnel unsure of exactly where they're going. "It's a shame he had to die that way. I mean, he really wasn't that bad of a guy. I bet he still had quite a few years left in him too," Vash states.
          "I'm just pissed that one of us didn't get to do it. Damn that thing. What did he call it again?" Kyo asks.
          "The Legendary Black Beast of Arrrrrrrrgh," Vash replies.
          "Well, it's a good thing we were able to use his death as a distraction. I don't think we could have gotten away from it otherwise," Conker replies. "Say, where did Roronoa and that Sesshomaru guy go?" A loud crash from behind the squirrel startles him. He spins around to find himself looking the Beast right in the eyes. Conker's ears flatten to his head and his eyes grow wide, filling with cartoonish tears of fear. A few seconds later he notices that the head is quite severed, and he is in no threat of getting eaten.
          "Who says we needed to run?" Roronoa replies, tapping his new-found blood-coated sword on his shoulder.
          Sesshomaru walks out from behind the massive head. "Weakling," he states as he passes Conker, heading further down the tunnel. The others eventually follow and they continue down the passage until they come to a massive cavern. At its center is a large staircase made of stone leading up to a pillar of blue light.
          "That's not a trap," Kyo states sarcastically.
          "Yeah, what fool would fall for," Roronoa starts, but stops when he notices Conker heading up the staircase. "You idiot! Get back here!"
          "Let the fool die," Sesshomaru responds coldly.
          "You're not very nice, are you?" Vash replies. Sesshomaru ignores him.
          "God, I need a drink," Roronoa states after sheathing his sword, tired of all the crap that's happened.
          Meanwhile, Conker has made his way to the top where he notices yet another large B on the floor. Curious as to what could happen this time, he walks over it and "presses B." The blue light suddenly turns bright red, an omen if there ever was one.
          "Infidels!" a loud voice booms. "You have touched the forbidden...ACK!"
          "Forbidden ack?" Conker asks himself. He turns around and glances down at his mates. "Any clue what, oh, nevermind."
          Back down on the floor Sesshomaru yanks a familiar old fart through a hidden curtain in the wall, tossing him to the floor by his neck. He then proceeds to tear the curtain away to reveal some sound mixing equipment and a microphone.
          "Wait, how did he?" Vash asks.
          "The guy's full of shit, even in death, it seems," Kyo responds.
          "That it seems," Roronoa replies while approaching the hermit and drawing his sword.
          "Wait! Wait! Don't kill me! I was just testing you guys!"
          "Testing us?" Conker questions, rejoining the group.
          "Yeah! Yeah! That's right, I was testing you!"
          "The test is over," Sesshomaru states.
          "Yes! Yes! And you all passed with flying colors! And now you get your rewards!" Cha-ching. Conker's eyes begin spinning again. "Of course, it looks like you already have your's, Mr. Zoro."
          "Wait, this is my rew," he replies with a tone of anger, but doesn't get to complete the sentence. With the snap of the old man's fingers, Roronoa vanishes.
          "As for the rest of you," he begins, clapping his hands twice. The lights in the cavern suddenly turn on, revealing a closet door next to the not-so-hidden curtain room. The old man walks over to it and yanks the door open, then begins tossing all kinds of junk out of the room over his head. "Where is it? Where is it?" he asks himself as he continues searching. "Aha! I believe you've been missing this, Mr. Hurricane," he addresses Vash, tossing the man a silver gun.
          "Wow! How'd you get ahold of this? Some guy pickpocketed me a few days ago and, wait, that was you, wasn't it?"
          "Not nobody, not nohow!"
          "I think he's a compulsive liar, too." And with that, Vash vanishes with the snap of a finger.
          "For you two, I present this," he says, handing Kyo and Conker some sort of card.
          "My bank card?" Kyo asks.
          "Precisely. I believe you'll find I deposited a small chunk of change in your accounts yesterday. Toodles!" Conker and Kyo vanish as the others did, leaving Sesshomaru alone with the hermit.
          "And that brings us to you, Mr. Power-hungry."
          "Hmph. Spare me your pathetic gifts. I need nothing from one such as you." Sesshomaru turns and begins to exit the cavern. As he nears the passage out, he notices something hanging from the wall. Sesshomaru looks back to find the hermit, the closet, and the hidden room have vanished. When he turns his attention back to the wall in front of him, he finds himself suddenly in the middle of a dense forest, staring at a familiar sword hanging from a tree trunk.
          "Father's fang. Damn him." Sesshomaru takes the sword and continues on his way.

Rewards:
Roronoa Zoro receives 228 Exp and Kuina's sword (grants Level 1 Fast Draw while equipped).
Vash the Stampede receives 228 Exp and Vash's gun (grants Level 1 Fast Draw while equipped).
Conker the Squirrel receives 228 Exp and 750 Cash.
Sesshomaru receives 228 Exp and the Tenseiga (grants Resurrect Other ability while equipped, but cannot be used to damage the living).
Demon Eyes Kyo receives 228 Exp and 750 Cash.